What is your biggest why?

IMG_1113.JPGWe have many different whys. Many reasons why we do things.

I remember on one of my rides home from a workout with my dad he said to me, never stop. Whatever you do, never stop working out. Never stop exercising.

I guess I have listened so far. I cannot go more than a day or two without exercise. I feel sick, I start to get symptoms of withdrawal.  Exercise releases endorphins and basically gets you high. In a way I am addicted to exercise. I need to exercise as a therapeutic relief.  I release stress during exercise. Physical exertion is the easiest way for me to “let off steam”.

That is one of my why’s. Another big one is competition. I haven’t really done any competing since September of 2015. I miss it. I want to get back to it and soon will.

I don’t do it to win. I like to strategize and see how it goes. I like to push myself harder than normal. Mostly I hate losing. I hate losing more than I like winning. It’s not being arrogant or cocky, I just hate to lose. That’s another why.

However, my biggest why, my biggest motivator, my biggest push is my son. My push and drive is because of him. I think of him when I want to quit, when I want to ease off the gas, when I want to crawl away.

He watches everything I do. He watches all of it. It’s my job to not mess him up. Children come into this place perfect, then we screw them up.

I try to give him as much honesty as possible. It hurts me to tell him lies. To tell him that certain things are real when they aren’t. I know it will cost me some of his trust.

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I push in all of these things for him. To show him. To give him an example to be better than.

He is an amazing sight to behold. He is full of quiet inquisition. He is constantly cataloging in his head. Connecting the dots, forming this images in his head. He has these amazing multilayer questions that require lots of thought and explanation.

I push when I don’t want to because I know he is watching. That he is seeing the example. That pushing to be better requires work. That in everything he does requires his effort. His best effort.

In those moments of wanting to quit, to rest, to slow, I think of him first. He is right there in my head.

The video below made me think of my biggest why and it is extremely powerful and it resonates very much with me.

There are things I want in life and in CrossFit but they are not things that are more important than my biggest why!

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